The Difference Between IQ and EQ

Intelligence quotient, or IQ, is a number derived from a standardised intelligence test. IQ represents abilities such as:

• Visual and spatial processing
• Knowledge of the world
• Fluid reasoning
• Working memory and short-term memory
• Quantitative reasoning

Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to perceive, control, evaluate, and express emotions. EQ is centred on abilities such as:

• Identifying emotions
• Evaluating how others feel
• Controlling one’s own emotions
• Perceiving how others feel
• Using emotions to facilitate social communication
• Relating to others

Goleman explains how two separate minds live in our brains, one rational and one emotional, and why the five key skills making up your emotional “literacy” are a much bigger predictor of happiness and success than the capacity by which we usually measure it: IQ.

Here are 3 lessons about what emotional intelligence is, why it’s so important and how you can get more of it:

1. Emotional intelligence rests on self-awareness and self-regulation.
2. A high EQ makes you healthier and more successful.
3. You can boost your EQ by mirroring other people’s body language and thinking optimistically.

The main takeaways:

• Why do your emotions help you remember things
• When your emotions cloud your thinking and how they sometimes bypass your thinking brain
• How EQ helps you leverage your emotions into reaching your goals
• Why emotional intelligence is at the root of your ability to navigate the social world
• How EQ is going to make or break our society as a whole
• What to use your emotional intelligence for in various situations, like a relationship fight or the office

Lesson 1: Emotional intelligence depends on your ability to be self-aware and self-regulate.

There are two parts to being emotionally intelligent. One is being emotionally self-aware. It simply means that you’re able to recognise and label your feelings.

For example, when children learn to speak, they usually need to be given the vocabulary first, so if your son is angry because you’re not letting him have candy before dinner, he’ll know he feels bad, but can’t tell you what exactly it is until you tell him that what he’s feeling is anger.

The second part of the EQ equation is emotional self-regulation.

As an adult, being able to look at your emotions on a meta-level (thanks to mindfulness, learned from meditation) is crucial in choosing how to react to your feelings – or if you should react at all.

For example, when you sit in your office and hear a sudden, loud bang, like the sound of an explosion, your emotional processing centre will perceive it as a threat and put your body in alert mode. But when your rational brain double checks and sees there’s no actual threat there, it calms you down again, so you can get back on track to what you were doing.

Both of these qualities rely heavily on the neural connections between your rational and emotional brain, which, if severed, can cause serious problems.

Lesson 2: If you have a high EQ, you’re more likely to be successful and healthy.

IQ 0 the level of your intelligence, is usually what we think determines success. But Goleman’s research led him to believe that EQ, emotional intelligence, is just as, if not more important, to find happiness.

For example, in the world of business and careers, students with higher levels of empathy seem to get better grades, even if their peers are just as smart. That’s because they can better manage their feelings – for example being bored, but still doing their homework – and perform better in social settings, like knowing when to speak and when to be quiet in class.

Socially skilled managers will have the power to persuade people when they need to and thus do a better job at leading people.

Lesson 3: You can boost your EQ by mirroring other people’s body language and thinking optimistically.

Here are two exercises to increase your emotional intelligence:

1. Mirror other people’s body language.
2. Convince yourself that your failures result from things you can change.

The first exercise will not only help you connect better with the person across the table, but it’ll also make you more emotionally self-aware. For example, when the person you talk to has great posture, straightening your own body will send subtle non-verbal cues to them, that they can trust you, help you realise what great posture feels like and also make you more empathic because now you know how they feel when their body is in that pose. It’s one of those “fake it till you make it” scenarios, which helps you build better habits.

The second exercise helps you become an optimist. Optimistic people continue to try because they believe their actions make a difference and are thus more likely to succeed. This is based on how they explain failures. They think bad events are temporary, external and specific, and that they have the power to change them for the better by improving the next time.